Rainbows

What do you think you could accomplish in life if you didn't have the simple supportive feeling of being unconditional loved?

I have resumed visits with a therapist.  I started going to one while living in Charlotte.  Then I love to NYC, and that just seemed like too daunting of a task to find someone.  After a few years, I finally asked around, and needless to say, Ive been seeing one for a few months now.

Over these few months, its become apparent to me, that I lack the feeling of unconditional love in my daily life. I know that I am loved, yes. But I do not necessarily feel it.  We all feel and give love differently. I tend to feel it in quality time.  And its very seldom expressed in that manor.

That being said.  How much do you think that you could accomplish if you were feeling unsupported and unloved?  How would you be able to function and be successful in the modern sense?

Honestly, I amaze myself.  Most days I just want to crawl into a hole and wait it out. Wait out the lonely.  Wait out the lack of love and companionship.  Wait out the longing for me.   But then my subconscious desire to prove to everyone/anyone that I can do it/life wins over and I get up and do.  I get up and go to work.  I get up and function like I assume an adult is suppose to.  All the while my little heart lacks the caring.

I want to care.  I want to have purpose. I want what I do daily to mean something to someone.  I want my daily life to be a priority for another.  And I want my daily priority to be someone that unconditional loves me.

But until then, I just keep going to prove to the world that I can.

Here Comes 2016!

Cant believe Im going to do this.  But heres to maybe reviving this blog!  

2016 hit with a vengeance.    Mainly just work life.  But that has taken up most of my personal time.  So I like to go back to the moment that this was all I had to do.