I recently heard the following. Now, I realize that this was a story in about 5th person, and that the end comment was only shared and not the full conversation, but it still just riles me.
A teenage girl, probably 14 y/o, commented about her teenage crush on Josh Hutcherson. Her father told her '10s only go for 10s, so you should stop liking him.' Or something of the sort.
Again, this was only relayed to me. Therefore, I dont know the complete context in which this comment was made.
I am so thankful that I never heard that comment directed to me by my father. Im so glad that I never had to ever think that there wasnt atleast one (male) person in the world that thought that I wasnt the greatest girl/women ever. Im so glad that I had a father that expressed, maybe not often but enough that I knew, how beautiful and fabulous I was and that I was deserving of whatever it was that I was shooting for, even if my teenage self rarely believed him.
Those teenage years are horrendous. They are filled with abundant moments of shear self doubt, and endless lack of self-confidence. (Or maybe that was just me!) And if you dont think that you have your parents, and hopefully siblings, friends, and whoever else you are able to find strength in (namely a God in whatever form you believe in), behind you, than its hard to find the needed self-confidence to make it in this (at times) cruel, horrible world.
In a world that is tearing down the image of women, and making it harder to find goodness in oneself, look around to those you interact with and find ways to show kindness and love towards them. Help them feel that they are 10s in the crazy world that wants everyone to think they are merely a 2 in need of x, z, and y to ever get to be a close to a 10.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Community
Last month I got the chance to meet up with an old friend. This particular friend has been apart of my life for more years then seems possible to my 24 y/o psyche! (Crap. Im not 24 y/o anymore, nor have I been for more years than I want to admit!)
When I was visiting with this friend, there were a few other people around, and it was abit chaotic. Lots of new people to meet. A few 'old' friends that I wanted to catch up with. Food to be ordered and enjoyed. Etc. We finally did get more of a chance to talk, and he asked me the general questions regarding job, Charlotte, family, life, etc. But then he asked me something that has made me really think lately. He asked if I had a community. Since I had never really been asked that before, I gave him an answer in the affirmative and moved on to something else. But it has really made me reflect.
What is ones community?
I have come to see it has the general people that one *chooses* to interact with on a weekly, maybe monthly, basis. It can be made up of immediately family, extended family, friends, church members, associates from work or hobbies, neighbors, etc. Its the people we make a priority. Its the people that one can count on for different needs or wants. Its the people that continually help us along our personal path. Its the people we feel a connection with. Its the people that we have shared mutual interests with.
There was a time in my adult life when I truly had this. My community was large and interlaced with people in many different areas of life. It made for lovely gatherings, parties, friendships, family time, memories, and more. I had opportunities to share in their joys, heartaches, excitements, contentments, and enjoyments. I had opportunities to serve them. I had the opportunity to learn from them and grow in ways that I would have never thought I would. I had the opportunity to find strength in their goodness and love. I had a community that I never realized I needed or that would be hard to find locally in the same magnitude.
I dont think that it was until that specific question was posed, that I realized what it was I have been missing and searching for for awhile now.
Im not thinking that that was a once in a life time opportunity, and that I need to just realize that reality of finding it again is unattainable. I have faith that there will be a time in which I can find this feeling of community again. When or where is the age old question in this life. As much as I wish that I had a current community here now with me, I just am glad that I have had that previously, in my adult life. And Im so grateful for the friends that I do have locally. I have so many dear friends all over, which makes choosing a plan to travel to, so very hard. But its the calls or texts for dinner, lunch, or a visit that I really cherish these days as my heart is lonely for in-person interaction.
When I was visiting with this friend, there were a few other people around, and it was abit chaotic. Lots of new people to meet. A few 'old' friends that I wanted to catch up with. Food to be ordered and enjoyed. Etc. We finally did get more of a chance to talk, and he asked me the general questions regarding job, Charlotte, family, life, etc. But then he asked me something that has made me really think lately. He asked if I had a community. Since I had never really been asked that before, I gave him an answer in the affirmative and moved on to something else. But it has really made me reflect.
What is ones community?
I have come to see it has the general people that one *chooses* to interact with on a weekly, maybe monthly, basis. It can be made up of immediately family, extended family, friends, church members, associates from work or hobbies, neighbors, etc. Its the people we make a priority. Its the people that one can count on for different needs or wants. Its the people that continually help us along our personal path. Its the people we feel a connection with. Its the people that we have shared mutual interests with.
There was a time in my adult life when I truly had this. My community was large and interlaced with people in many different areas of life. It made for lovely gatherings, parties, friendships, family time, memories, and more. I had opportunities to share in their joys, heartaches, excitements, contentments, and enjoyments. I had opportunities to serve them. I had the opportunity to learn from them and grow in ways that I would have never thought I would. I had the opportunity to find strength in their goodness and love. I had a community that I never realized I needed or that would be hard to find locally in the same magnitude.
I dont think that it was until that specific question was posed, that I realized what it was I have been missing and searching for for awhile now.
Im not thinking that that was a once in a life time opportunity, and that I need to just realize that reality of finding it again is unattainable. I have faith that there will be a time in which I can find this feeling of community again. When or where is the age old question in this life. As much as I wish that I had a current community here now with me, I just am glad that I have had that previously, in my adult life. And Im so grateful for the friends that I do have locally. I have so many dear friends all over, which makes choosing a plan to travel to, so very hard. But its the calls or texts for dinner, lunch, or a visit that I really cherish these days as my heart is lonely for in-person interaction.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Date A Girl Who Travels
Taken from: http://www.solitarywanderer.com/2012/02/date-a-girl-who-travels/
Love this article/blog. Resonates with me! :)
Love this article/blog. Resonates with me! :)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Survey
Lunch yesterday has sparked a question, that I would love to hear from YOU regarding. ....
I was telling a friend about my most recent "date." Brief synopsis: Dude asked me out for and said he 'wanted to take me to dinner.' He ends up showing up to my house with PINK hair. He has no plan and says 'Well, you know the city, where do you want to do.' I end up paying for myself. What happened to the 'I want to take you to dinner?!' And then I ended up paying for the shared dessert we got at the comedy show that I got free tickets too. ... Dude has no game!
So this leads to my question.
For those that are married: Did your husband show up on date 1, 2, or 3 with no plan? If he did, what were your thoughts on this lack of plan?
For those that are single: Has a dude shown up with no plan? If so, than did he make it past that date?
I think that this idea of having a plan is what sets a date apart from just hanging out. And Im too old to just hang out anymore!
My friend from lunch mentioned that when he was young and starting out in dating, someone advised him that he should read a book on Sales, and I have to say that this is kind of genius. Lets face it, what is a date? An opportunity to sell ones-self, and to try and be 'sold' on someone else.
I was telling a friend about my most recent "date." Brief synopsis: Dude asked me out for and said he 'wanted to take me to dinner.' He ends up showing up to my house with PINK hair. He has no plan and says 'Well, you know the city, where do you want to do.' I end up paying for myself. What happened to the 'I want to take you to dinner?!' And then I ended up paying for the shared dessert we got at the comedy show that I got free tickets too. ... Dude has no game!
So this leads to my question.
For those that are married: Did your husband show up on date 1, 2, or 3 with no plan? If he did, what were your thoughts on this lack of plan?
For those that are single: Has a dude shown up with no plan? If so, than did he make it past that date?
I think that this idea of having a plan is what sets a date apart from just hanging out. And Im too old to just hang out anymore!
My friend from lunch mentioned that when he was young and starting out in dating, someone advised him that he should read a book on Sales, and I have to say that this is kind of genius. Lets face it, what is a date? An opportunity to sell ones-self, and to try and be 'sold' on someone else.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
New York City
There are days that I have to remind myself that it wasnt just a dream, but I really did live in New York City. That my shoebox closet in my basement apartment with no windows was a reality. It all kinda went almost as fast as it came, and much before I realized and truly took advantage of all that it has to offer. Granted, I still love my time there, and so grateful that I was even able to be there. Ahh. New York City. You will always be in my heart.
Because of this love, my appreciation for New York set books, movies, music, etc has grown ten fold. It has happened on numerous accounts that someone will not be giving a particular movie the same glowing report than I would. When I think about it, its because I loved the setting of the movie and might have over looked certain aspects of it. Ill read a book that normally I might have put down at chapter two, just because I cant wait for what other NYC reference they might give.
Im not forgetting that my year plus in New York wasnt easy, and flawless. There were some aspects that made it really, really hard. There might have been nights I feel asleep with a tear stained pillow. But the old adage that 'what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger' really holds true for my time in New York. I am a better person for my time there. (And being honest, I can truly say that about all the cities I have called home.) And maybe that is why it has an extra special place in my heart. It was there that I could sit and hear lovely and needed words from a dear old friend that could keep me going. And our next visit always came when I was needing him and his kindness the the most. It was there that I gained some (more) amazing friends. It was there that I learned to see the world through, yet again, new lenses. It was there that I loved and lost, and lost hard. It was there that I had adventures. It was there that I played. It was there that I enjoyed. It was there that I laughed. ... I truly heart NY!
... This post was sparked as I finished a (mildly trash) book called "Outtakes of a Marriage" (or something like that) by Ann Leary (or something like that!) on the same day that I went to see Extremely Loud & Incredible Close. Both set in NYC. Seriously. Anything set in NYC just warms my heart. But LOVED Extremely Loud & Incredible Close. The book was fabulous and I think that the movie did a great job of sharing that. ....
Im one lucky lady. In my 30 years, I have had some amazing experiences.
Because of this love, my appreciation for New York set books, movies, music, etc has grown ten fold. It has happened on numerous accounts that someone will not be giving a particular movie the same glowing report than I would. When I think about it, its because I loved the setting of the movie and might have over looked certain aspects of it. Ill read a book that normally I might have put down at chapter two, just because I cant wait for what other NYC reference they might give. Im not forgetting that my year plus in New York wasnt easy, and flawless. There were some aspects that made it really, really hard. There might have been nights I feel asleep with a tear stained pillow. But the old adage that 'what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger' really holds true for my time in New York. I am a better person for my time there. (And being honest, I can truly say that about all the cities I have called home.) And maybe that is why it has an extra special place in my heart. It was there that I could sit and hear lovely and needed words from a dear old friend that could keep me going. And our next visit always came when I was needing him and his kindness the the most. It was there that I gained some (more) amazing friends. It was there that I learned to see the world through, yet again, new lenses. It was there that I loved and lost, and lost hard. It was there that I had adventures. It was there that I played. It was there that I enjoyed. It was there that I laughed. ... I truly heart NY!
... This post was sparked as I finished a (mildly trash) book called "Outtakes of a Marriage" (or something like that) by Ann Leary (or something like that!) on the same day that I went to see Extremely Loud & Incredible Close. Both set in NYC. Seriously. Anything set in NYC just warms my heart. But LOVED Extremely Loud & Incredible Close. The book was fabulous and I think that the movie did a great job of sharing that. ....
Im one lucky lady. In my 30 years, I have had some amazing experiences.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Dance
I might have mentioned on here before about my love for swing dancing. But in case I havent, Ill give alittle background.
Growing up, I took a jazz class for a year when I was about 7 years old, and a Ballet class when I was like 13 years old, and hated them both. I could follow the teacher but I just hated the setting and really didnt want to do a recital. Ugh. Thinking about it now makes me nauseated. In 6th grade PE class we had 6 weeks of learning Country Line dancing, which I secretly loved. Then youth dances came around.when I was 14 years old, and I the thought of shaking my booty with all these "really cool" people was just beyond me. I didnt mind slow dancing, but anything I had to do on my own was just not going to happen. This continued into my college years, except that there were a few friends that I could shake my butt with at a dance and not feel too stupid. But oh so, very few! I just couldnt "hear a beat" and figure how to "move to the beat." That was a foreign concept to me, and just feel like a fool trying to mimic those around me.
When I moved to Boston, I started to want to figure out this dancing thing. People seem to really enjoy themselves, and I wanted to be apart of that. But by the time I finally found a class to take, I was traveling bi-monthly and didnt have the time to devote to it. And really, I still wasnt so sure about my ability to not make a fool of myself.
Fast forward a couple years and a move to NYC. I finally decided it was time. To swallow my pride and take a class. I chose Swing dancing simply because it looked fun, there were a few people I know who did it, and one particular guy that I was interested in who was a swing dancer. (Dont things generally come back to someone of the opposite sex when we are single!?!) As I was new to the city, it was nice to have somewhere to go once a week. That first class was a bit terrifying. Lucky, I found a small class with a fabulous teacher who gave me the confidence to keep going back. A few months in, and it was growing on me. I was slowly catching on, or atleast I was enjoying the ride!
Finally after about 4 months of classes I finally got up the nerve to go out social dancing. Oh man, just the thought of going was terrifying!! Anyone could ask you to dance, and they didnt know your skill level, or what specific steps you have been taught, and you *cant* walk away in the middle of a song! AHHH. I stayed for about 4 songs. Danced for 3 (2 with leads I knew from class, and one random lead) and then high tailed it out of there! I remember calling a few dancing friends on my way home who reminded me that that was how I would get better, and to stick with it. I appreciate there confidence and kinda words, as a few weeks later, I did go back, and stayed for about 4 dances!
....
And now, next month will be my 2nd anniversary of having dance in my life! I love it. It makes me happy. Seriously, nothing but smiles on my face. Im not fabulous, but I dont care. Im just happy to go and make a fool of myself! And simply through learning swing dancing, I have lost all care of what people think of me. Ok, maybe not all! I still get uber nervous when someone with mad skills asks me to dance. And I like to tell him that I just started. Makes me feel so much better when he says that Im fabulous for a beginner! :) I usually cant keep to my lie, and say that I have been dancing for a few months now! :) 24 is a few, right?! In general, I am now that much more comfortable to dance in any venue. Whether its shaking my booty at a church dance, impromptu dance parties with friends, or learning other dances.
Here in Charlotte, the different dance scenes are pretty inter-mixed. You will see alot of the same people at Swing dancing that you might see at Salsa, or Tango, or Blues, or Contra. Yes, I spelled that correctly. Contra dancing is similar to what you might see watching a "Jane Austin" movie where you have a partner, the moves are called out by a caller, you dance in rows, and you move in circles of four, etc. But with Contra it is generally done to old school bluegrass music. I had been hearing about this ever since I moved to Charlotte, but wasnt so sure about it. Last night I finally went and had a absolute blast! Cant wait to go back.
...
Im so glad I got over my pride and starting dancing. I feel like a whole new world was opened up.
Growing up, I took a jazz class for a year when I was about 7 years old, and a Ballet class when I was like 13 years old, and hated them both. I could follow the teacher but I just hated the setting and really didnt want to do a recital. Ugh. Thinking about it now makes me nauseated. In 6th grade PE class we had 6 weeks of learning Country Line dancing, which I secretly loved. Then youth dances came around.when I was 14 years old, and I the thought of shaking my booty with all these "really cool" people was just beyond me. I didnt mind slow dancing, but anything I had to do on my own was just not going to happen. This continued into my college years, except that there were a few friends that I could shake my butt with at a dance and not feel too stupid. But oh so, very few! I just couldnt "hear a beat" and figure how to "move to the beat." That was a foreign concept to me, and just feel like a fool trying to mimic those around me.
When I moved to Boston, I started to want to figure out this dancing thing. People seem to really enjoy themselves, and I wanted to be apart of that. But by the time I finally found a class to take, I was traveling bi-monthly and didnt have the time to devote to it. And really, I still wasnt so sure about my ability to not make a fool of myself.
 |
| Stephanie, My first teacher, taken after sweaty NYC dance! |
Finally after about 4 months of classes I finally got up the nerve to go out social dancing. Oh man, just the thought of going was terrifying!! Anyone could ask you to dance, and they didnt know your skill level, or what specific steps you have been taught, and you *cant* walk away in the middle of a song! AHHH. I stayed for about 4 songs. Danced for 3 (2 with leads I knew from class, and one random lead) and then high tailed it out of there! I remember calling a few dancing friends on my way home who reminded me that that was how I would get better, and to stick with it. I appreciate there confidence and kinda words, as a few weeks later, I did go back, and stayed for about 4 dances!
....
And now, next month will be my 2nd anniversary of having dance in my life! I love it. It makes me happy. Seriously, nothing but smiles on my face. Im not fabulous, but I dont care. Im just happy to go and make a fool of myself! And simply through learning swing dancing, I have lost all care of what people think of me. Ok, maybe not all! I still get uber nervous when someone with mad skills asks me to dance. And I like to tell him that I just started. Makes me feel so much better when he says that Im fabulous for a beginner! :) I usually cant keep to my lie, and say that I have been dancing for a few months now! :) 24 is a few, right?! In general, I am now that much more comfortable to dance in any venue. Whether its shaking my booty at a church dance, impromptu dance parties with friends, or learning other dances.
 |
| Enjoying a dance with my friend Tom |
...
Im so glad I got over my pride and starting dancing. I feel like a whole new world was opened up.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy 1 Year Anniversary!
Today is the 1 year Anniversary of being in Charlotte. Ok, technically I got here one the first, but I slept at a hotel that night, so Im not counting it.
What the last year has brought me:
- Friends.
- Adventures.
- Cities to explore.
- A new understanding of me. And really, that is what this is all about right?!
As I reflect on all that has happened, Im just that much more grateful for the friends I have gained along this journey of mine. I have meet so many wonderful people. People that have taught me alot about life, love, kindness, strengthen, honesty, generosity, and really the list could go on. Im excited to see what else Charlotte, and 2012!, has in store for me. ... I really want it to be the Year of Lisa!
What the last year has brought me:
- Friends.
- Adventures.
- Cities to explore.
- A new understanding of me. And really, that is what this is all about right?!
As I reflect on all that has happened, Im just that much more grateful for the friends I have gained along this journey of mine. I have meet so many wonderful people. People that have taught me alot about life, love, kindness, strengthen, honesty, generosity, and really the list could go on. Im excited to see what else Charlotte, and 2012!, has in store for me. ... I really want it to be the Year of Lisa!
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