Sable

I finally got to meet this little lady! Sable Naomi Midgley.  Mark and Jessie are darling parents and fabulous host!  Just hope that next time I visit with them, I dont bring food poisoning with me.  

PS This country is just to gosh darn big, and people I love are in just too many gosh darn ends of it.  

Compliments

Compliments are a funny thing.  They can be given honestly.  They can be given freely.  They can be given in return for something.  They can be given with thought.  They can be given without thought. They can be given for common things.  They can be given for not so common things.

A few of my personal favorite compliments I have received thus far in life are:

"You fit nicely in your chair!" - Given by a date after the first act of a Circus de Soleil show where he was sitting next to a very large person who was infringing on his seat/space.
or
"Wow, you know how to load a dishwasher!" - Given by a boyfriends roommate who was usually perplexed by how other people load a dishwasher, and found some else who he felt knew how to use the space for maximizing the space.
or
"You are a great travel buddy!" - Given a few times by travel buddies, most recently by a friend recounting a painful trip with someone else, and who wished that I was able to travel (Dang school tuition!)

But the one that I just dont understand is the...
"You are a pretty girl, what's your problem?"  (Or something similar)

Seriously?!

I know that those who usually say this are really trying to give a compliment despite ending with a harsh question.  But seriously people?!  It makes me want to flush their head in a toilet bowl.  Ok, ok Sorry.  That might be a little juvenile!

There is no rhyme or reason for why one person stumbles into their forever someone earlier in life rather than later, and just because others havent yet, doesnt mean there is a problem.  I understand that the natural progression in life is to get married, but be nice to those that have yet to have found someone they are willing to join forces and make their way through this world with.


Ok.  Sorry for not warning you ahead of time.  Im off my soapbox now!  ... We will now return to your regularly scheduled blog post!

10s

I recently heard the following.  Now, I realize that this was a story in about 5th person, and that the end comment was only shared and not the full conversation, but it still just riles me.

A teenage girl, probably 14 y/o, commented about her teenage crush on Josh Hutcherson.  Her father told her '10s only go for 10s, so you should stop liking him.' Or something of the sort.

Again, this was only relayed to me.  Therefore, I dont know the complete context in which this comment was made.

I am so thankful that I never heard that comment directed to me by my father.  Im so glad that I never had to ever think that there wasnt atleast one (male) person in the world that thought that I wasnt the greatest girl/women ever.  Im so glad that I had a father that expressed, maybe not often but enough that I knew, how beautiful and fabulous I was and that I was deserving of whatever it was that I was shooting for, even if my teenage self rarely believed him.

Those teenage years are horrendous.  They are filled with abundant moments of shear self doubt, and endless lack of self-confidence. (Or maybe that was just me!)  And if you dont think that you have your parents, and hopefully siblings, friends, and whoever else you are able to find strength in (namely a God in whatever form you believe in), behind you, than its hard to find the needed self-confidence to make it in this (at times) cruel, horrible world.

In a world that is tearing down the image of women, and making it harder to find goodness in oneself, look around to those you interact with and find ways to show kindness and love towards them.  Help them feel that they are 10s in the crazy world that wants everyone to think they are merely a 2 in need of x, z, and y to ever get to be a close to a 10.

Community

Last month I got the chance to meet up with an old friend.  This particular friend has been apart of my life for more years then seems possible to my 24 y/o psyche!  (Crap.  Im not 24 y/o anymore, nor have I been for more years than I want to admit!)

When I was visiting with this friend, there were a few other people around, and it was abit chaotic. Lots of new people to meet.  A few 'old' friends that I wanted to catch up with.  Food to be ordered and enjoyed.  Etc.  We finally did get more of a chance to talk, and he asked me the general questions regarding job, Charlotte, family, life, etc.  But then he asked me something that has made me really think lately.  He asked if I had a community. Since I had never really been asked that before, I gave him an answer in the affirmative and moved on to something else.  But it has really made me reflect.

What is ones community?

I have come to see it has the general people that one *chooses* to interact with on a weekly, maybe monthly, basis.  It can be made up of immediately family, extended family, friends, church members, associates from work or hobbies, neighbors, etc.  Its the people we make a priority.  Its the people that one can count on for different needs or wants.  Its the people that continually help us along our personal path.  Its the people we feel a connection with.  Its the people that we have shared mutual interests with.

There was a time in my adult life when I truly had this.  My community was large and interlaced with people in many different areas of life.  It made for lovely gatherings, parties, friendships, family time, memories, and more.  I had opportunities to share in their joys, heartaches, excitements, contentments, and enjoyments.   I had opportunities to serve them.  I had the opportunity to learn from them and grow in ways that I would have never thought I would.  I had the opportunity to find strength in their goodness and love.  I had a community that I never realized I needed or that would be hard to find locally in the same magnitude.


I dont think that it was until that specific question was posed, that I realized what it was I have been missing and searching for for awhile now.


Im not thinking that that was a once in a life time opportunity, and that I need to just realize that reality of finding it again is unattainable.  I have faith that there will be a time in which I can find this feeling of community again.  When or where is the age old question in this life.  As much as I wish that I had a current community here now with me, I just am glad that I have had that previously, in my adult life. And Im so grateful for the friends that I do have locally.  I have so many dear friends all over, which makes choosing a plan to travel to, so very hard.  But its the calls or texts for dinner, lunch, or a visit that I really cherish these days as my heart is lonely for in-person interaction.

Date A Girl Who Travels

Taken from: http://www.solitarywanderer.com/2012/02/date-a-girl-who-travels/

Love this article/blog.  Resonates with me! :)

Survey

Lunch yesterday has sparked a question, that I would love to hear from YOU regarding.  ....

I was telling a friend about my most recent "date."   Brief synopsis: Dude asked me out for and said he 'wanted to take me to dinner.' He ends up showing up to my house with PINK hair.  He has no plan and says 'Well, you know the city, where do you want to do.'  I end up paying for myself.  What happened to the 'I want to take you to dinner?!'  And then I ended up paying for the shared dessert we got at the comedy show that I got free tickets too. ...  Dude has no game!

So this leads to my question.

For those that are married:  Did your husband show up on date 1, 2, or 3 with no plan?  If he did, what were your thoughts on this lack of plan?

For those that are single:  Has a dude shown up with no plan?  If so, than did he make it past that date?

I think that this idea of having a plan is what sets a date apart from just hanging out. And Im too old to just hang out anymore!  

My friend from lunch mentioned that when he was young and starting out in dating, someone advised him that he should read a book on Sales, and I have to say that this is kind of genius.  Lets face it, what is a date?  An opportunity to sell ones-self, and to try and be 'sold' on someone else.  

New York City

There are days that I have to remind myself that it wasnt just a dream, but I really did live in New York City.   That my shoebox closet in my basement apartment with no windows was a reality.  It all kinda went almost as fast as it came, and much before I realized and truly took advantage of all that it has to offer.  Granted, I still love my time there, and so grateful that I was even able to be there.  Ahh. New York City.  You will always be in my heart.

Because of this love, my appreciation for New York set books, movies, music, etc has grown ten fold. It has happened on numerous accounts that someone will not be giving a particular movie the same glowing report than I would.  When I think about it, its because I loved the setting of the movie and might have over looked certain aspects of it.  Ill read a book that normally I might have put down at chapter two, just because I cant wait for what other NYC reference they might give.

Im not forgetting that my year plus in New York wasnt easy, and flawless.  There were some aspects that made it really, really hard. There might have been nights I feel asleep with a tear stained pillow.  But the old adage that 'what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger' really holds true for my time in New York. I am a better person for my time there.  (And being honest, I can truly say that about all the cities I have called home.)  And maybe that is why it has an extra special place in my heart.  It was there that I could sit and hear lovely and needed words from a dear old friend that could keep me going. And our next visit always came when I was needing him and his kindness the the most.  It was there that I gained some (more) amazing friends.  It was there that I learned to see the world through, yet again, new lenses.  It was there that I loved and lost, and lost hard.  It was there that I had adventures.  It was there that I played. It was there that I enjoyed.  It was there that I laughed. ...   I truly heart NY!


...  This post was sparked as I finished a (mildly trash) book called "Outtakes of a Marriage" (or something like that) by Ann Leary  (or something like that!) on the same day that I went to see Extremely Loud & Incredible Close.  Both set in NYC.  Seriously.  Anything set in NYC just warms my heart.  But LOVED Extremely Loud & Incredible Close.  The book was fabulous and I think that the movie did a great job of sharing that.   ....


Im one lucky lady. In my 30 years, I have had some amazing experiences.