Date A Girl Who Travels

Taken from: http://www.solitarywanderer.com/2012/02/date-a-girl-who-travels/

Love this article/blog.  Resonates with me! :)

Survey

Lunch yesterday has sparked a question, that I would love to hear from YOU regarding.  ....

I was telling a friend about my most recent "date."   Brief synopsis: Dude asked me out for and said he 'wanted to take me to dinner.' He ends up showing up to my house with PINK hair.  He has no plan and says 'Well, you know the city, where do you want to do.'  I end up paying for myself.  What happened to the 'I want to take you to dinner?!'  And then I ended up paying for the shared dessert we got at the comedy show that I got free tickets too. ...  Dude has no game!

So this leads to my question.

For those that are married:  Did your husband show up on date 1, 2, or 3 with no plan?  If he did, what were your thoughts on this lack of plan?

For those that are single:  Has a dude shown up with no plan?  If so, than did he make it past that date?

I think that this idea of having a plan is what sets a date apart from just hanging out. And Im too old to just hang out anymore!  

My friend from lunch mentioned that when he was young and starting out in dating, someone advised him that he should read a book on Sales, and I have to say that this is kind of genius.  Lets face it, what is a date?  An opportunity to sell ones-self, and to try and be 'sold' on someone else.  

New York City

There are days that I have to remind myself that it wasnt just a dream, but I really did live in New York City.   That my shoebox closet in my basement apartment with no windows was a reality.  It all kinda went almost as fast as it came, and much before I realized and truly took advantage of all that it has to offer.  Granted, I still love my time there, and so grateful that I was even able to be there.  Ahh. New York City.  You will always be in my heart.

Because of this love, my appreciation for New York set books, movies, music, etc has grown ten fold. It has happened on numerous accounts that someone will not be giving a particular movie the same glowing report than I would.  When I think about it, its because I loved the setting of the movie and might have over looked certain aspects of it.  Ill read a book that normally I might have put down at chapter two, just because I cant wait for what other NYC reference they might give.

Im not forgetting that my year plus in New York wasnt easy, and flawless.  There were some aspects that made it really, really hard. There might have been nights I feel asleep with a tear stained pillow.  But the old adage that 'what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger' really holds true for my time in New York. I am a better person for my time there.  (And being honest, I can truly say that about all the cities I have called home.)  And maybe that is why it has an extra special place in my heart.  It was there that I could sit and hear lovely and needed words from a dear old friend that could keep me going. And our next visit always came when I was needing him and his kindness the the most.  It was there that I gained some (more) amazing friends.  It was there that I learned to see the world through, yet again, new lenses.  It was there that I loved and lost, and lost hard.  It was there that I had adventures.  It was there that I played. It was there that I enjoyed.  It was there that I laughed. ...   I truly heart NY!


...  This post was sparked as I finished a (mildly trash) book called "Outtakes of a Marriage" (or something like that) by Ann Leary  (or something like that!) on the same day that I went to see Extremely Loud & Incredible Close.  Both set in NYC.  Seriously.  Anything set in NYC just warms my heart.  But LOVED Extremely Loud & Incredible Close.  The book was fabulous and I think that the movie did a great job of sharing that.   ....


Im one lucky lady. In my 30 years, I have had some amazing experiences.  

Dance

I might have mentioned on here before about my love for swing dancing.  But in case I havent, Ill give alittle background.

Growing up, I took a jazz class for a year when I was about 7 years old, and a Ballet class when I was like 13 years old, and hated them both. I could follow the teacher but I just hated the setting and really didnt want to do a recital. Ugh.  Thinking about it now makes me nauseated. In 6th grade PE class we had 6 weeks of learning Country Line dancing, which I secretly loved.   Then youth dances came around.when I was 14 years old, and I the thought of shaking my booty with all these "really cool" people was just beyond me.  I didnt mind slow dancing, but anything I had to do on my own was just not going to happen.  This continued into my college years, except that there were a few friends that I could shake my butt with at a dance and not feel too stupid.  But oh so, very few!  I just couldnt "hear a beat" and figure how to "move to the beat."  That was a foreign concept to me, and just feel like a fool trying to mimic those around me.

When I moved to Boston, I started to want to figure out this dancing thing.  People seem to really enjoy themselves, and I wanted to be apart of that.  But by the time I finally found a class to take, I was traveling bi-monthly and didnt have the time to devote to it. And really, I still wasnt so sure about my ability to not make a fool of myself.

Stephanie, My first teacher,
taken after  sweaty NYC dance!

Fast forward a couple years and a move to NYC.  I finally decided it was time.  To swallow my pride and take a class.  I chose Swing dancing simply because it looked fun, there were a few people I know who did it, and one particular guy that I was interested in who was a swing dancer. (Dont things generally come back to someone of the opposite sex when we are single!?!) As I was new to the city, it was nice to have somewhere to go once a week.  That first class was a bit terrifying. Lucky, I found a small class with a fabulous teacher who gave me the confidence to keep going back. A few months in, and it was growing on me.  I was slowly catching on, or atleast I was enjoying the ride!

Finally after about 4 months of classes I finally got up the nerve to go out social dancing.  Oh man, just the thought of going was terrifying!!  Anyone could ask you to dance, and they didnt know your skill level, or what specific steps you have been taught, and you *cant* walk away in the middle of a song! AHHH.  I stayed for about 4 songs.  Danced for 3 (2 with leads I knew from class, and one random lead) and then high tailed it out of there! I remember calling a few dancing friends on my way home who reminded me that that was how I would get better, and to stick with it. I appreciate there confidence and kinda words, as a few weeks later, I did go back, and stayed for about 4 dances!
....

And now, next month will be my 2nd anniversary of having dance in my life!  I love it.  It makes me happy. Seriously, nothing but smiles on my face.  Im not fabulous, but I dont care.  Im just happy to go and make a fool of myself!  And simply through learning swing dancing, I have lost all care of what people think of me.  Ok, maybe not all!  I still get uber nervous when someone with mad skills asks me to dance.  And I like to tell him that I just started.  Makes me feel so much better when he says that Im fabulous for a beginner! :)   I usually cant keep to my lie, and say that I have been dancing for a few months now! :)  24 is a few, right?!  In general,  I am now that much more comfortable to dance in any venue.  Whether its shaking my booty at a church dance, impromptu dance parties with friends, or learning other dances.

Enjoying a dance with my friend Tom

Here in Charlotte, the different dance scenes are pretty inter-mixed.  You will see alot of the same people at Swing dancing that you might see at Salsa, or Tango, or Blues, or Contra.  Yes, I spelled that correctly.  Contra dancing is similar to what you might see watching a "Jane Austin" movie where you have a partner, the moves are called out by a caller,  you dance in rows, and you move in circles of four, etc.  But with Contra it is generally done to old school bluegrass music.  I had been hearing about this ever since I moved to Charlotte, but wasnt so sure about it.  Last night I finally went and had a absolute blast!   Cant wait to go back.
...

Im so glad I got over my pride and starting dancing.  I feel like a whole new world was opened up.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary!

Today is the 1 year Anniversary of being in Charlotte.  Ok, technically I got here one the first, but I slept at a hotel that night, so Im not counting it.

What the last year has brought me:
- Friends.
- Adventures.
- Cities to explore.
- A new understanding of me.  And really, that is what this is all about right?!

As I reflect on all that has happened, Im just that much more grateful for the friends I have gained along this journey of mine.  I have meet so many wonderful people.  People that have taught me alot about life, love, kindness, strengthen, honesty, generosity, and really the list could go on.  Im excited to see what else Charlotte, and 2012!, has in store for me.   ...  I really want it to be the Year of Lisa!

Little Smiles

Its days like today that Im sad Im not living in the Northeast and able to just jump in my car and within an or so, can be hang out with my favorite little people and make Gingerbread Houses.  Not sure how I was ever able to move away from these little smiles and little hugs.  

Here are a few of the pics from my phone from their visit over Thanksgiving break.  

Little Luke, the Cali Baby!, enjoying the slide.  He seriously wouldnt leave that slide. 

Melia and Jack enjoying the book statues outside of the library.

Taylor and Melia.  Taylor was trying to get her to smile for the camera. 

I have way too many of these lovely shots from the years. 

Little girls are silly!

Crazy Dude

Is it to hard to ask for a normal dude to date?  Someone that I can enjoy life with, and who can make me laugh.  I really dont think Im asking for to much.  But with my recent interactions, Im starting to see that I just might be.

The latest.  I ventured onto the online dating world for about 2 weeks before I got off.  Ugh.  Depressing. Dudes didnt know how to interact.  And the ones that did interact where ones I had no interest in.   Well.  One dude from a different state mentioned that he was coming to mine for a job interview, and wanted to know if I would like to meet up.  Sure.  What ever.  Not like anything else is going on. And he seemed half way normal, at least compared to the others.   After a bit of back and forth about timing and what not, phone numbers were exchanged last night.  And this is the text conversation that ensued today. And to protect the weirdo guy, Im referring to him as Dude or rather the intial D.

D: Hey Lisa it's XXX!
Me: Morning!
D: What's up!
Me: Not too much. Just plugging along at work. You?
D: Haha sounds familiar :) What you do for work?
Me: I work at Time Warner Cable doing Database Marketing. And if you know what that is, can you tell me?!
D: Haha. Nice! If we get married do I get free cable??
....  [UGH,  What am I suppose to say to that?!  Awfully presumptuous.  After a definite lag time, and conferring with a few dudes ....)Me: Haha. Something like that. What do you do? And will it give me any good perks, that is if we do get married!
D: Haha. I'm a marketer in hospice. So u can hook you up when you get really old and ready to die :)
Me: Oh fabulous. I was worried about that.
D: Well worry no more :)
D: So remind me. Any kids?
Me: Nope.
D: So we are going to have to pump out a few then eigh :)
... [Another UGH.  What?!  Is that suppose to be an Eh?  or an eight?  Again, Presumptuous.  You pump out 8 children and let me know how that goes! .. You dont even know me dude.  Maybe I cant have kids, maybe I dont want kids, or maybe I dont want to think about at the moment. . .  Seriously.  This conversation is going no where FAST.  I dont want to continue, and Im really thinking twice about this getting together/date thing. ...] Me: Yeah. Something like that.
D: Haha. Something like huh.
D: How do you feel about potentially moving to Utah?
... [3rd Ugh in a short while. Im done.   .....]Me: You are rather presumptuous! Let's start with less dramatic questions like what is your favorite color, what is your middle name, and where did you grow up.
D: Haha. Whatever you want to tell me :)

At least I have my free cable to snuggle up with on the cold winter nights!


PS.  I changed the title of his blog from Presumptuous Dude to crazy dude.  If it was a girl that was saying these things, she would definitely gotten defined as crazy.  So, he deserves the same consideration.