Putting It on the Table

** A moment of Truth **

Embarrassed that Im even posting this. So, please be nice!

I dont understand or know how to date. Yes, yes: Totally explains why Im 28 y/o and still single; this I do know!

Im just simply amazed that anyone gets married. Honestly. You all are simply heroes to me.

Growing up with brothers, I was always one of the guys. In school, I always had good guy friends. In college, I was quickly the adopted little sister. I thought that I had a good handle on the opposite sex. And I seem to be good at looking at situations that Im not in. I have dished out alot of advice over the years that have proved useful and relevant.

So. Maybe its me. (Totally possible). Or maybe its the guys I interact with. Or maybe its complete unknown forces acting against me. Whatever it is, I hope it gets better or changes in the next little bit! Or else I just might loose my mind.

In the last few years, I have had a few different conversations where I have been talking with a post-crush/interest and found out that that guy liked me too, and that we liked each other at the same time. (Seriously. . . SERIOUSLY!) So, why doesnt something more happen. I know, Im really trying to not whine. Its just that I went out with this guy last night, and had a good time. He was interesting and ambitious, and someone that I would like get to know some more. But Im just such an awkward person and I dont know what to say to relay that. I dont want to come off as head over heels in love with the dude on the first date, especially when Im not. But I do want to let him know that Im interested in another chance at getting to know each other. And I feel like those situations that I try and play it cool, it comes back to me that I was too aggressive. I just dont understand.

Any insight would be helpful. Also, Im totally up for set up too. Hello. Not getting any younger here.

Made Me Stop and Think

In the last few weeks, there were two times that I read something that really resonated with me.

1 - Dont make someone a priority, who makes you an option

2 - You never make a decision when you are on the up hill;

you arent thinking clearly

Those two have stuck with me ever since I heard them. And oh how true they are. Its been an interesting few months for me. I have had some really amazing experiences, and some really tough experiences. Through it all, its been eye opening for me to see those people that have been there and been a friend to me. Asked how I was, offered help or a kind word. It has really made me realize that I might have been in the wrong in the past to put value in a relationship when I was really just an option along. Its hard to come to that realization.

I have made some stupid decisions in my life. And looking back on them, I can a test that they have been made {majoritly, is that a word?!} on the 'up hill.' Call me pathetic, but one that I am so sad about still to this day is my decision to get rid of my Chevy Tahoe. I still miss that truck. She was so good to me. I drove her across the country, in the back country, everywhere. Oh how I miss her. Oh how I regret making that decision on the fly in the up hill journey of stupidity.

Wanna see something cool?!

I took this with an iPod while driving over the Mass Ave Bridge in Boston.

Facebook Status'

I know that Im not the only one that is addicted to facebook. Something about checking out what other people are doing and saying is sort of like watching a train wreck to me. I want to turn away, but Im just so anxious about the next post!

About 70% of the time, I really could care less about what farm animal you have on Farmville, or that you are bored, tired, etc. Around 25% of the time, I feel like I get informational updates. Job and/or moving announcements, excited things that happen in someones day, world events.

That remaining 5% is the part that I wait for. Those updates that bring a smile to my face, and maybe even a chuckle and desire to share with anyone around me.

Im not exactly sure why this one struck my fancy tonight. Maybe it was because I had just been talking about the Mormon Single Dating Scene/World/Life/Plague. . . .

It comes from an old elementary school friend. One that I havent had contact with since about 5th grade except for accepting friendship on Facebook.

Joshua ** found a web site that allows you to find sexual predators

within 25 miles of your house. check it out. www.eharmony.com

-- Please do not relate sexual predators to Single Mormons. That is not the intent of the amusement.

Its about that Time!

One of my many blessings from my father is a fabulous metabolism. Most of you that know me well know that I sorta abuse it. I mean. I eat what ever, when ever I want. I dont work out. I am just me. And because of my lovely, skinny Dad, I can. Well. I know that isnt exactly healthy. And I keep telling myself that once I hit some certain point in the near future, then Im going to start to work out. But I always seem to make excuses for it.

Since my current move took me away from family, and friends, and to an area that has a less built in social circle (aka no singles ward and plethora of single Mormons), I took it as my cue to start working out. I also figured that if its something that I am paying {handsomely} for, then Im more willing/obligated to go. But knowing myself too well in the way that I would go and get on a bike for 10 mins and then do weights half-heartily for another 10 mins, and I would call it good. So I made sure that the gym I signed up for had classes and had convenient locations, and what not.

On Monday I took the plunge, and I am a member of New York Sports Club. I went to my first class tonight. Total Body Conditioning. . . . AHHH. Im already sore. Not looking forward to tomorrow. But Im feeling good about this decision to pay for a gym. I think its going to be good. While I dont know anyone, I still have a place to go for a few hours every week and feel like there is purpose to my evenings. Now I just want to find somewhere I can volunteer. Any suggestions?

Education Conference

I have the opportunity to go to Boston this last weekend. What a fabulous weekend it was. Old friends. A city I love dearly. Amazing weather (ok, minus later Saturday night). What more could a girl ask for.

Elder Ballard was able to make it to the conference. For those in my blogging world that are not of my faith, Elder Ballard is one of the 12 members that makes up the Quorum to the Apostle. He is an 80 y/o man that has devoted years of his life to simply proclaiming the gospel and blessing those that he meets. He is a sweet, tender hearted fellow.

Here is a great article about the weekend: Click Me!

Thanks to all those that made the conference a smashing success. And thank you to all the friends I was able to see and catch up with.

News

I havent been super forth coming on whats going on with me. So here it comes.

I started a new job last week. Its a contractor position, and therefore Im still on the search for a permanent position with benefits. Im working with global marketing team doing email for a hotel chain. Its nice to still be in the travel industry. The office is super quiet and that is taking some adjusting. My co-workers are amazingly nice.

As my position is contract in a not so stable economy, I didnt want to get myself into a lease. And White Plains, NY is alittle too far to commute to from Hartford. So, I found a family to live with from the family ward in the area. It turns out that the house is 10 mins from the office, so nice!. I think its the shortest commute I have ever had. The family is great and younger. 3 little girls, and really nice husband and wife. Its been great so far.

Now that I have a job, I can start to think about traveling again! Yeah. Any suggestions or travel companions?!?!?