There is No Crying at Work

I think I made a girl cry at work yesterday. Totally didnt think that she was an ounce of soft, but I was wrong. Or at least I think I was.

I was offered a new position at work. 5 weeks later and Im doing two jobs, but really wanting to just stay put. I like my current boss, I like my team, I like what I do, and I know that there is still yet alot to learn. So I basically decided that if they could pay me the extraordinary lots of money that I wanted in order to deal with the stress and crap that the new job would bring my way, than I really just wanted to stay put. I finally had to tell that to the possible new boss yesterday. I know that she has ben under alot of stress, but I have to do what is right for me. And I know that Grand Circle is not the end all be all of companies. (This is something that the new boss is alittle unaware of as its been the ONLY company she has worked at since college.) Well, I started to see her eyes get teary, and when she walked out, she didnt walk back to her desk but in the direction of the bathrooms and the bigger boss. Which she went to, Im not sure.

This company has taught me alot in the past 3 years. (WOW, I have been here 3 years next month! Two more years till Im fully vested. . . Dont think Ill make it to that!) I have learned to not let people walk all over me, which can be viewed as "being mean." I have learned more on how to be a more Open and Courageous Communicator, even though there is still a LOT to learn there! I have learned that work is work, and at the end of the day it is not the extent that I want to know known for. I have learned that there people out there that want to help others, and there are people that are only out there for themselves, and I dont want to be the later. I have learned that money does not mean happiness.

Whats next?

School is a no go. Im alittle sad about this as it would have been a great oppurtunity, but its ok. Ever since the Campus President told me that I was accepted, I had a pit in my stomach. I tried to ignore it, but it wouldnt be ignored. It was much like the pit that I got when I knew I should buy that stupid Ford Explorer that I bought last year, and that I will forever be paying on. Ever since I decided that school wasnt for me, I have left better and there hasnt been that pit!

So, what now?! Gosh. The options are endless. I previously felt anxious to leave Boston, but that has subsided alittle. I really think that its really just the employment option that I need to relook at. I even want to take a career placement test. To me that sounds juvenial for some reason. But I never have taken one. I have never really looked at all the "career" possibilies this world can offer someone. Hotels/Restaurants/Travel and Tourism has really just continued to fall into my lap since high school. Granted Im doing more with Direct Marketing now than Travel and Tourism, but also has just fallen into my lap.

Im pretty much in Boston through August. Even though I dont have a place to stay for the month of August. Humm. I should work on that one.

Mysteries of Life

Wahooo, I was told unofficially that I am accepted to grad school at the European University in Munich. It starts Oct 1. I meet with a Recruiter and the Munich Campus President on Thursday. And they told me that I can except a formal letter, but that they expect to see me in Oct. Wahooo, Im finally going to live abroad.


As much as I am excited, Im pretty freaked out. Its alot of money to go into debt for, and Im not 100% feeling like its what I am supposed to do. Maybe its a good thing that I cant seem to figure out financial aide. I have been blessed to not need it before now. My father has made it clear that he will only pay for a bachelors degree for his 8 children, and there is no way that he can even pretend to pay for a masters. (Even though, I really think that he is holding out to be a Multi-Millionaire, only time will tell. . . . In high school, if I ever asked for anything worth more than $100, he would ask me if I wanted my inheritance now or later. Kinda morbid thought for a 16 year to even think of your father to be that old.)

I have really been trying to move forward with the idea/plan of going to school in the fall. Started to figure out what I need to sell, and what I want to pack and somehow get to my parents home in Dallas. My biggest headache is what to do with my car. I really love my car. I just got it. Its a Black 2006 Kia Sportage with only 4600 miles. As I had bad luck with a prior car, I had to add the remaining loan onto this car, and, therefore, I owe more than its worth right now. . . The joys of being an adult. . .

So, Im trying to figure out if my fear is just simply fear or if its more the Spirit warning me. That I really should figure out.


But as of right now. Ill be in Europe for school from the end of Sept to July 31, 2008, and then Ill take a month and travel!

Where did it go?

As much as I love New England. . . Im soo tired of the weather. Its been gray and gross for what seems months. Granted we did have a really great 4 days last weekend. But the continuous rains and gray clouds really can just put a damper on life. I need Sun. Its that simple.

I dont remember feeling this down because of the weather in previous years. I wouldnt take it as far as to say its seasonal depression. . . But maybe soon if it doesnt turn around.


______

I played volleyball with some girls from church yesterday. We used to play every Thursday, but life got busy and we took about 2 months off. Well. We played again yesterday. There were only 5 of. It was fun, but not as intense as it can get. Half way through playing, and some boys show up wanting to play basketball. As we knew them from church and what not, we invited them to play with us. (We had scheduled the gym and therefore perfectly in the right to continue playing.) Instead, they sat and watched us. It was so annoying a lame. After about 30 minutes they finally joined in, and we all ended up having fun. But the fact that they sat in the corner for awhile upset that we had the gym. It made it so weird and uncomfortable. The sad thing was that one of the boys was a guy, or probably the only one, that I have been remotely interested in lately. Oh well, Life goes on.

Silt Green

According to Colorstrology, my color associated with my birthday is silt green. It also says:

PEOPLE LIKE to be in your company. You are inspiring and often prolific. You want to be fair while using a healthy balance of perception and intelligence. It is important for you to have a partner that is kind and loving. Your personal color resonates with peace and calm. Wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with Silt Green replenishes your energy and balances your mind, body and spirit.

I wish that there was a color that fully embodied this silt color, because its not a color I would personally choose for my self if there was any choice in the matter. Granted, I am a fan of green. But I am a picky fan of green.


Ahh, who actually takes astrology to heart, no matter the form, anyways.

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

I did. I spent it with my brother and his in-laws. It seems to always work out that way. This must have been Easter #4 with them. Starts with the Egg dying party and egg toss on Sat. I was paired with Taylor, my 5 y/o nephew. Out of default, we were the first ones out. And Taylors response was "When I am 6, Im going to be so good at the egg toss!" I love that when you are little it is associated to age and not ability.

Then we, the adults once the little ones were asleep, worked on the Easter baskets. Every stayed at the parents house, as its tradition to all be together on Easter morning to see what the Easter Bunny brings. It is always fun to walk down stairs and see the wided eyes and happy glees. Once the baskets are thoroughly looked over and half the chocolate is devoured, its time for the Egg Hunt, aka Hunt for Breakfast. Everyone gets one their winter clothes as is still freakin 40 degrees and snowing, and looks for "their" eggs. Its amusing that the youngest child is usually the one that will be out til the bitter end. . . . Its only an egg, the cold is not worth it. So then we eat eggs, bacon, and other breakfast goodness. And then we have a chocolate egg hunt inside. By the time this is over. . . Its about 9am. Time for a nap!

I went to the Yale Singles Ward. (Im not missing much.) First of all, its only a Branch, and one at that. . . . I must say, that Im so happy for all my friends that are married. Its a miracle, not specifically, but generally. Im amazed that you are able to find another person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. I can find someone that I want to spend 20 minutes with. HA! One day! I know I will one day. :) Dont think Im trying to feel sorry for my self or anything, Im just being a realist. . .

Easter Dinner was great. HAM is great. I could never not eat meat. Its just great!


The only downer. . . Oh wait the two downers of the weekend. 1) Grandmom. Megans (sister-in-laws) Grandma was in the hospital after having a bad fall on Thursday night that actually showed that she had an aneurysm and went into Brain surgery and has not fully woken up from that. She seems to be doing ok. 2) Traffic coming home was horrible. I cant really but them in the same group. But, I guess I did.

My Big Mouth

I know I have a big mouth. It has been a problem on mine from the beginning. I always wanted to know what was going on, and then I would have isues with sharing it for all the world to know. This little, or rather large, problem of mine has gotten me in trouble countless times with numerous people. Sorry.

This is something that I have been working on for years now. I think that generally Im getting much better at it. But there are those times of break down. . . . And the latest breakdown has been in regards to me telling everyone that Im going to Grad School. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone.

I have only sent in my initial application. Its by all means not finished. I have not heard anything else from the school. I have not even figured out if I will go if I am accepted. etc.

But needless to say. I have been telling everyone that Im going to Grad School in Europe. I hope it all works out! Maybe I needed to tell people to keep my self motivated to finish the application!

On to writing my essay for school. . . .